PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one that finds life frustrating and terrible all at the same time?? Okay so I will try to be positive...life goes up and down and right now is a
DOWN time.
Okay I won't be that negative, not all of life is negative - just most parts of the day are negative. Mostly having to deal with
ALL of the responsibilities that I have (want me to name them?) and with this little guy...
(And yes, this is his school picture for the year)
Okay now if it was just the picture, which everyone thinks I need to lighten up about, but is it so wrong to want a nice smiling picture like all the previous years? I am also told I will laugh at it eventually..not yet.
This year has been such a struggle with him! We are only in the 2nd month of school and lets see....
1. We have gotten a total of 3 citations for the bus (4 total are allowed for the year) and is now suspended from the bus for this week. The first 2 weeks of school he got his first 2 citations.
We have most of the kinks worked out on the bus now, and frankly strike 3, was him mostly being a stinker compared to the first 2 were just him having problems adjusting to the bus.
2. We have already punched a little kid at school in the nose and gave him a bloody nose. He almost got suspended from school for that for a day, but the Principle in his wisdom and experience with Autistic children let it slide. We were also very lucky to have the kid he punched and his mother were understanding and laid back enough to let it go.
3. I receive on average a phone call a day from Brandon from school with a problem. They let him call me when he wants just to appease him, which is NICE because talking to me helps him calm down.
4. The resource teacher, who we LOVED had to quite, which lets be honest, I cried! She has an older son with Aspergers and understood Brandon SO WELL!! She was a great mediator for him and helped him cope so well!
I don't know what this little boy's problem is this year, or what is causing him to be so anxious this year. It has been more stable this year at school ( last year was the very first year for this new charter school, so it was a complete work in process). But it has caused my stress level to sky rocket!
I used to think he was a "high functioning" aspergers kid. But what did I know when he was younger. It was a LOT easier when he was younger, but now as he is getting older and you get the "normal" expectancy of 8 year old boys you find that he is quite severe! I mean simple little things that you would think was just "natural" just doesn't register with him! He just plain doesn't know. That has been a big struggle. What is the difference from him just "not knowing" and him being a "stinker and playing the system". Cause this little boy, is just SO SMART! Just has the social capacity of a 4 year old.
Now that I have that out of the way....there are some MAJOR positives with him too. He is so loving and is always willing to give me a hug or a snuggle at the end of the day! He is so smart in math that he is working on PER-ALGEBRA! 7th grade math! It comes so easy for him! In fact the Math Department asked him to be in the American Math Challenge this week (starts today) for a few days! Which means he just gets to do math all day for two days! He LOVES it! Since Math and Science are his favorite subjects he is happy. They have asked kids in all grade levels, but only 40 out of the whole school (several hundred) were asked!
Also he is doing so well in Cub Scouts and has progressed so well! He has accepted that he won't like everything in Scouts and has dealt with that and just has stepped up! SO PROUD OF HIM!
So out of all the "stress" there is some positive. But just add this to everything else a "typical" mom has to do, you can see how life just sucks for awhile right?
I do know that no matter what, my Heavenly Father will NOT give me anything that I cannot handle and that is some comfort to me. So I know that I can handle ANYTHING that comes my way.
I also think that good times are coming, I am a FIRM believer that things get really bad before things get really good. Just the way Satan works and tries to get us down. So I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even though I can't see it just yet...but I KNOW it's there!
Thanks for listening to me vent, and I definitely wanted to write this down so I can look back on what life is like right now with Brandon.
Also if there are people out there (I know of some) that have kids with Aspergers or kids with Autism, drop me a line! Tell me your horror stories so that mine don't seem that bad! LOL But also any advice with an 8 yr old Aspergers!
